U.N.F.O.R.T.U.n.E ChilD

its been so long i havent write..(wat happen??)...a lot of thing happenned..some sad,some happy,some hatred,some love..its all i can say life maturing process..

My study ...all i can say its getting tougher and need more of my time..couldn't say i dont have the time but i wasted most of the time.yet loving and caring someone isn't a right blame to waste my time..its just a routine .you have to pick up the phone .spending an hour to talk bout thing..some time nonsense(which is most of the time..) and these thing occured 3-4 times per day..kinda wasting kan..huhu..thinking rationally..emmm yupp its a waste of time..i should study and open books during that tym..but..these routine is crucial for my days..i dont want to change anything yet..it'll change by itself later..
while
hobby..apart from pick up the phone..i love cooking..one of these night..while having small fight him(kinda normal these days..the frequency getting higher!!)..i hve been thinking and wondering how does it like to have mother who could guide you in every stage of your life..my roomate called her mom every single day..am i be the same if my mom still around?every time getting the recipe from the internet,some sadness tingling inside me..other would only have to ask their moms to teach them..or to cook for them..i have to seek internet to fulfill my desire of what to eat..or going to pasar tamu..others have their moms to choose the right sayur or things with the knowledge..which one is segar,last long time..mine have to choose whatever there is..not having the real guru to help in life is sad.unfortunate..now i realized what unfortunate am i all this time.

laughing and ignoring is the best part i can do naturally.i always act like a perfect in everything .study,cooking..appearance ..others people actually think i have mother to guide me..some aunty would just say how lucky my mom to have me..well,she aint lucky enough..but the fact that im trying to proof to other is a very selfish part of me..in fact i felt jealous with others.they have someone there for them..throughout my life ,i been surrounded by people that have mother..and whenever their mother come to see them..i make blank face..acting im okay..but then ,i ran away crying alone..blaming why my mom died so fast..cant she wait till i grew old enough..

to all that have mothers out there..treat them nicely..God Cant Be Everywhere To Guide You ..Thats Y he creatEd MoThers..in my case ..both isnt here..