rite now im in the mood for powerful song...and of cuz its always be my charice pempengco songs that lift up my spirit..heee..such a magnificent song..how many time tears falling while listening to her voice..heeee

piknik n reunion~

last khamis amoy ajak g piknik,well agak 2-3 juak tym pikir but i juz grab the oppurtunity to say yes(wat???byk nota bertimbun deng~)..why?ntah la,jes juz perlukan fresh air jak kot..staying in the room n no fun is worst day ever..i couldnt stand myself that tym oso..haha..n im pathetically terribly MISS him!! yes him...he who far away ..urghh..now i hate Disember..trust me,this is the first time ever i miss a living person like this..when the sun start to set dy,thats when tarchycardia occurs!yes,without definite reason..hand will be shaky n sweating..and tears tend to get shed very fast only by thinking of him..woowww..yes,he who are 1st to be able to strike a symphathetic response inside my body without any touching only by memory inside cerebral cortex..huhuhu...

n another part is the free food..actually its only me jer tak make food..hee..well,i dont even bring anything except my tammy..n to the end of picnic i so envy with those yang berenang..i became photographer jer..i know..hurts..haha..but michelle did brings my all time fav the sambal pedas!!i lurve it since smsk time..that time just mencubit jer while she offer,at matrix its become our rutin food..getting diarhea together..hahaa..wat a memories

well lets just see the pic ok..hehe..n last i balik awal becoz of guilty concious of not studying..damn patho tutorial..see,dring the sesiion,i only gven to say not more that 15 words jer..

heee..eh,maka mok cta part picnic..this picnic is somekind of small reunion to be exact only 13 ppl jer datang..others xpat dtg becoz to early(11pg pun too early kaa??)..and i get so excited..jumpa old friends which some i havent see them since the last day of taking SPM result!!..n obviously part of my joys is becoz i get to see michelle.my best buddy at matrix..its true we hardly talk during SMSK but hey im grateful still be gven to know her at matrix and puf!!we become best buddy!!..heee

To all my friends who i know

"There comes a point in ur life when u realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So, don't worry about ppl from ur past, there's a reason why they didn't make it 2 ur future... =)"(Patrick Raj,2009)

So my friends,each of us lead a life ahead..this may be our last encounter or not,but we`re making memories out of these day.

"MEMORIES plays a very confusing ROLE... They make u LAUGH when u remember the time u CRIED.. BUT they will make u CRY when u remember the time u LAUGHED... =)"(patrick Raj ,2009)

Girls are told a lot of stuff growing up,
If a guy punches you,he likes you,
Neva try to trim your own bangs
and someday you will meet a wonderful guy in your very happy ending,
Every movie we see,every story we're told implores us to wait for it,
for the third act twist,the unexpected declaration of love
The exception to the rule,
but, sometime we were so focused in finding our happy ending,
we dont learn how to read the signals
how to tell the ones who wants us from the one who dont
how to tell the ones who stay from the ones who will leave
or maybe the happy ending doesnt include a wonderful person,
maybe its you
on your own picking up the pieces and starting over
freeing yourself up for something better in future
maybe the happy ending is just moving on
or maybe the happy ending is this
knowing that through all the phones calls and broken hearts,
through all the blunders and misread signals,
through all the pain and embarassment
YOU NEVER EVER GAVE UP HOPE..

dEar gOD, if He is Mine, make Him mine.

if He isN't, make Him miNe too.

if He is nOt meanT 4 me, maKe hIm miNe eithEr. but, if he is SomEbody's,

Let hiM be MiNe..

bCoz he Is Mine....

Especially for you

Everything in life change you in some way,

Even the smallest things,

If you don't accept these changes,

You do not accept yourself.

For through these changes brings new and greater things to you,

Making you wiser as time progresses.

To avoid these changes is a loss

You only live your life once.

Do not waste a minute of it avoiding things.

Let them come to you, and learn from them.

There is always tomorrow..

huuu

If u looked inside a girl,

You would see how much she really cries ,

You would find so many secrets and lots of lies

If only you could see deeper,

But what you'll see the most is how hard it is to stay strong ,

When nothing is right and everything is wrong....

stupid holidaee...

i just fin my one week-sort-of holidae .The main reason i called it holiday becoz we dont have any medical-related class..but stupidly faculty juz unable to adjust the timetable properly that we got and must attend generic and complementary class..which is from monday to thursday ..urghhh!!if only got no clss long tym already i balik sri aman released my tension..(i miss home,really!!)

okay..this week also specialised to do proposal for research thing..my group(me,iqa,ing soon and lily) we are about to kill cats and watch types of flies would come to the carcass..(of course it create a lot of issues with animal lover but sory guy..this is what you called as research.haha..one of ways making thing impossible to possble) Luckily we fin our proposal on tuesday and nothing went wrong ..hahah

during holiday i got nothing to do except bangun tido,mandi go for g n c class and mandi n gudnyt everyone..tido for 12 hours memang syiok..hahaha..especially im getting used to it.well theres nothing to do also maa..

Well,there`s some thing i regret during the holiday..feeling so wasteful jer..got lesen but no car to drive around..got a lot of shopping complex but no money to spend for it..mmostly got boyfriend who happpens to have car,money but no time to cari me..because like i said about the timetable earlier..when im free,thats when he busy mcm businessman..couldnt blame him..since he also got a lot of hard time becoz of me..(remember jes dont be so bengkeng and dont buat those puppy sad voice okay!!)..wish i could turn back the time and done something to make things better..(really!!)..im sorry bie..huhu

nowaday im becoming more cautious of what i say,what i do,and try to behave like not the demand type..the result=im becoming more quiet and quickly end up the conversation trying to fight back my tears..its hard to talk with bitter memory and bitter heart..no matter how we try to cheer up the situation,i still remembered the other side of him..which makes me scared to do anything like before..owh god puhlease erase the bad memory of him..i want to be like in 365 days before..where both of us try so hard to win each others heart eventhough we know we belong together..too bad..

Mohar ngn PBL

I hate my PBL noweadays..Pa ko pikir ah NOrzaid..?????Ko ingat ko dah ada duit,da keja teatp,da bini,da anak,dpt polah bnda bgus alu ko pikir ko ya mentaliti tyinggi ka?????Suka ati ko hantam orang lain ..pa dak poalh suma salah..kunun nya pemikiran ko ya lihai la tek..soh org humble tp dimpun ya arrogant..anok org arrogant dmpun ya 2 kali 5..teruk g ada..
Biar jes senaraikan suma apa x puas ati ngn sikap norzaid ya..damn!!!

P ny kutuk org:nganok natrajan lambat masuk pbl..alu dpdah clubbing
pa nya mpun polah:x penah2 ko ya hbiskan sesi pbl ngn mekowg kowh..gne ko mok bik markah mun certain org jak sempat klaka

pa nya kutuk org:penampilan org x kemas..nektai nat x kemas rya alu berceramah
Pa nya mpun polah:tym nya bik "ceramah" tek,x sedar nektai dmpun x berikat alu jak..ko ya selek g bha

pa nya kutuk org:perangai jes nok arrogant la x hu8mble la gen produk doktor kin menurun la ngn adanya miak kedak mekowg
pa nya mpun poalh:ko ya arrogant ko.."intelligent peopla like me.."sapa ngankat ko ya jd pnde..ko ya sma jak ngn mekowg kowh..kimen.suka boasting ttg drik sendirik..ya ko padah humble tek..produk doktor menurun ntam generasi kitakowg..mekowg blom g jd doktor!!

pa nya kutuk org:x menerima pendapat org lain..suma org padah ko mok anok wak..
pa nya mpunm polah:pa ko tanya suma ng lari dri trigger pbl..critical thinking ko ya x berhasil..xda relevan ngn soalan mekowg..mun ko pande gilak knak ko x menang nobel prize kjak..

Keseluruhan nya,byk g mok kenak anok iak ya.surat aku ko lempar balit padh x ckup bukti????ko ya x mok bca hbs bukti ya bodoh!!nangla aku g jd manusia lekak dpt lesen ya bha..mcm la mun ku eskep pbl ya ku jd hantu trus!!!ko pdh aku patut MERAYUngn ko sak markah kedatangan aku x dipotong??ko ingt aku xda keja lain kah mok dipolah..org perangai cm ko ya xpatut dipandang pun..kimen...jes mohar palak babi kink tok!x pnah aku nangis ntam lecturer bodo cm ko..biar la ko potong tp ku pastikan ko potong cgek kedatangan kjak..ku hadir 15/16 sesi ko darabkn ngn 10% ..ya mesti ku dpt..mun ko potg lebih aku teragak2 g kelak...

worst saturdat nyt out

Argghhh..im having so much of misfortune lately..It seems EVERYONE wanna mess with me or is it me who want to mess with them?..huuu
Started on last Saturday nyte after the JPK meeting..Went for dinner at Jalan song..Having damn fun when everyone (me,pris,rathika,renu n vino) were laughing and enjoying our supper.But when we arrived at the gate at 1230 am,the gate was closed already and the SON-OF-A-BITCH-SECURITY GUARD(btw the name is HUSSIN)...make DONo jer with me in front of the gater melambai him and pris did horn the car twice pun he make dono..SHIT!!!!until RAthika Calledc NAtrajan And PAtrick to ask the guard to buka the ggate and guess what he said.."Kunci bukan ngn aku..ngn Felo"..Ingat mekowg bodo gilak ka????shit!!bila padah felo diam luar terdiam alu defend ngn alasan lain ngnok dah 2nd year pun xtauk kah peraturan kolej...Ingat org mok gilak kah stuck rah jalan mun x jam ntam konsert AF ya?Lemme atur balit perbicaraan tym ya
"kenak lambat gilak dah mok kol 1 tok"
"mekowg rah ctok dar kol 1230 tek..ko ya pura2 x layan until mekowg tpaksa nunggah miak k nunggah ko soh bukak bha"
"boh mok bulak aku rah ctok tek dari kol 11 xda pun ku nangga kiorg"
"tadik aku lambae bha !!da ko nangga aku tapi ko pura2x layan..mekowh hon juak...pejkak ke apa"
"aku ingat ko org luar bha!"(take note ar..dah nangga tp x mok layan then pdah xda org nok lambe tp padahal kakya padah org luar la tek)
"Bole panjat ka paga tok?"
"boleh tp boh komplen....boh panjat"(padah jak sia xmok org komplen..maka mun mekowg pnjat pagar xda wak mok komplen..)
"xkan xmok bik muka pakcik..mekowg ompuan..dahla sejuk..bukan lambat sejam 2 pun.."
"bgus sgik mun aku masuk dalam pondok jak dr ngelayan kitakorg!"

Imagine weyh..HUssin banggang ya nang soiu!!!pris dah smpe rumah dah..terpaksa kol Bie untuk datang jemput..Mbak g hotel ,suma hotel full..merayu lok ngn hotel fullyin buk da bilit..kakya ATM suma upgrading...urgghhhh...i hate that HUssin..Kunci ada buka jak la owh..mekowg tima bha mun ko dah nganok mcmya..choui..tok dah la nganok alu x melayan g..kemmmakkk!!!

Birthday gurl...

heee...lemme list down what i did for my 20th birthday..kinda shocking kan..but shssshhh dont tell anyone..hahah

2pm:Bie picked me up and sadly we found out my suppose to be last driving class is
cancelled..huhu..after that i gado with charles..damn him..
3-5pm:ngerayo rah satok..actuallly waitin for bie's resdung treatment yet the tauke soh a datang laen masa ntam full..NAsib Buruk kali ke dua!!

6-8pm:rehat rah hotel..mandi n berkemas..ready to get out!!beli tiket wayang n then buk g mamam sushi..minum sake(urghhh!!)yet service lambat giler..berekot ngabis makanan ntam mok catch movie..

930-12:habis movie and tada..HAppy besdae Jes!!!!!mata da eleng da nahan ngantok..thets when 30 sms datang wishing birthday..thanks guyS!!

20th July

8-1230:exam keta..tauk drikmkenak belot oleh miak pbl..huhu..lapar giler..

1300-1400:mamam kfc satok..pun bergaut mamam...ntam da kelas mok catch kol 2..huuu..penat giler beb!!!

1400-1900:kelas n mandi...n tido..asa mok patah kaki..hee

2130:jumpa bie ambik kek(secret Recipe blackforest)..n si bulat.(anak patung baru!!)

here some pic of the enyt.


bie kmk nok palg siayangi ngn kek besdae


Tok la kek i...heee




=

muka sempoi jes ..heee x kedak owg nok polah mask muka guna aising ya..haaa


ciuman tersayang k bie kmk..heee

anak2 jes..bambam pipo n si bulat~~~

Birthday,betrayal and friends...

Haha..im officially and biologically 20 years old now..(gettin old already..huhu).
bak kata sele tersayang.."dah woman da ko jes"..Am i?hahha kinda frustrating nenga ayat ya..huhu..jes x mok tua..g mok jadi kanak2 riang(ya la tek!!)Tapi memandangkan suma padah perange g x berubah pun agak rasa kiciwa..(aei..padah tua salah..padah g kanak2 pun salah..apa ja la ku tok..heee)..as a conclusion nya jes is not a teen girl but not yet a women(cited from britney spears..hahah)
Anyway for those yang wish me thru sms ka,kad ka..verbally wish ka..guys,im so terharu(winkz ^_- )heee...this year kinda received a lot of wishes..mentang2 besdae 20an da..alu suma mok acknowledge ku da tua da..haaaa!!

Pagi besdae i escaped PBL and 2 morning classes to attend JPJ road exam..It was so much fun eventhough i gadoh with charles my instructor because some management problem..dah la byar mahal..Cant believe i become a victim..huh..JPJ there were so good,padah jak ko miak medic alu senang jak danya kasi pass..betapa berkuasanya status seseorang..Im not yet a doctor yet they aalready traet me as one..arigato ne!!

But then..got sms from joannes padah ku terpaksa tulis surat ke noorzaid ntam x datang pbl..I was shocked of my life when i found out my pbl mate betray me and told noorzaid im goin for JPJ exam!!We planned already thruout last week that we just gonna say im sick n i just need to pura2 sakit perut n get mc and give it to him..urghhh!!It wont be a problem if nOOrzaid is the pandai type..But since he is terlamPAu pande until miak medic xda cuti lam hidup daknya unless sakit..apatah agik ngn exam JPJ..But then today this morning Noorzaid told me he wont be here till next week..imagine that..i tulis surat penat2 and he sukati jer do like that..

HUHU..in a nut shell...hmmm..birthday thun tok kind aokay..no matter how penat i was..this is indeed an unique birthday for me..

ignOranT!

aie...lamak da x menulis blog.ampun beibu2 ampun diucpkan kpd penulis sendiri..(antap bena x kesah ngn blog dmpun..huhu).BAnyak BenDa berlaku tapi...ya la tek..x kepingin bena mok menaip..(haha malas 80% NGN BUSY 20%)..dari bulan 2 rya byk la juak..

BTw..Jes da masuk 2nd year!!!(huraYYYY!!!!)pa jak la (maka dah mok hbs blok CNS buk mok umum!!)sekali lagi alasan busy diberi..hoho..2 minggu lepas junior baru dtang,terkenang kesah last year alu tym agi kekampongan tiba rah lot 77.kenak halau la tym mnedaftar.heee(kenangan yah!!)x sangka dah lebih setahun dah..next week besday jes..owh blog tok pun dipolah sempena kemasukan ke unimas!!(hepi besday to mere blog yg terchenta!!)

owh klaka pasal besday..emm ne nda kah rah post besdae nok lepas..bukan apa bha mok nagga list goal n matlamat (bukan sma Jak kah ya..hee).Dengan Bangga nya jes mok pDah..tym 20 JUly 2009..jes akan beusia 20 tahun n akan melangsaikan exam keta hari ya~~~(harap langsai la..hee)suma nok baca tok doa k jes dpt melangsaikan..hahha byk duit klua kowh..(mok 1500++ dasr kaki kikis intructor ya..huh)

tapi ya lah tek..emmm..mok esCApe kelas ya cgek g cta tok..bena padah owg Tua sekali kita poLah salah,smpe bila2 owg inGat bnda ya..Sekali jak escape kelas pyskiatrik r
ya trus kna aim kowh!!susah bna mok minta cuti..minta mC???dipertimbangakan..rya Melisaa bik idea gne Mok minta Mc haha(otak nang otak doktor wak eh..)gne??rahsia....

U.N.F.O.R.T.U.n.E ChilD

its been so long i havent write..(wat happen??)...a lot of thing happenned..some sad,some happy,some hatred,some love..its all i can say life maturing process..

My study ...all i can say its getting tougher and need more of my time..couldn't say i dont have the time but i wasted most of the time.yet loving and caring someone isn't a right blame to waste my time..its just a routine .you have to pick up the phone .spending an hour to talk bout thing..some time nonsense(which is most of the time..) and these thing occured 3-4 times per day..kinda wasting kan..huhu..thinking rationally..emmm yupp its a waste of time..i should study and open books during that tym..but..these routine is crucial for my days..i dont want to change anything yet..it'll change by itself later..
while
hobby..apart from pick up the phone..i love cooking..one of these night..while having small fight him(kinda normal these days..the frequency getting higher!!)..i hve been thinking and wondering how does it like to have mother who could guide you in every stage of your life..my roomate called her mom every single day..am i be the same if my mom still around?every time getting the recipe from the internet,some sadness tingling inside me..other would only have to ask their moms to teach them..or to cook for them..i have to seek internet to fulfill my desire of what to eat..or going to pasar tamu..others have their moms to choose the right sayur or things with the knowledge..which one is segar,last long time..mine have to choose whatever there is..not having the real guru to help in life is sad.unfortunate..now i realized what unfortunate am i all this time.

laughing and ignoring is the best part i can do naturally.i always act like a perfect in everything .study,cooking..appearance ..others people actually think i have mother to guide me..some aunty would just say how lucky my mom to have me..well,she aint lucky enough..but the fact that im trying to proof to other is a very selfish part of me..in fact i felt jealous with others.they have someone there for them..throughout my life ,i been surrounded by people that have mother..and whenever their mother come to see them..i make blank face..acting im okay..but then ,i ran away crying alone..blaming why my mom died so fast..cant she wait till i grew old enough..

to all that have mothers out there..treat them nicely..God Cant Be Everywhere To Guide You ..Thats Y he creatEd MoThers..in my case ..both isnt here..